Neon Indian

Does time seem to move too slow for you? Do your days and weeks drag on? If you’re interested in making time move faster I’ve got a piece of advice for you: make some babies. Probably not the best solution for everyone, but let me tell you the last thirteen years of my life have skated by. Yesterday I worried whether or not my kid would keep breathing throughout the night; today I worry whether or not he’ll be able to find and hold down a job. It’s not the economy that makes me anxious, but the teenagers I’m surrounded with everyday and their work ethic or lack thereof. So lately I’ve been on the lookout for tips on teaching kids how to work and why they should care about the quality of their work. Let me share what I learned today: don’t introduce your child to Neon Indian!

One quick glance at these track names and I think you know where I’m going and what Neon Indian, né Alan Palomo, is selling. These playful, lilting pop songs and their psychedelic synth flourishes will do nothing but encourage your youngsters to raid your medicine cabinet, string up a hammock out back and sway their days away. He uses subversively cheerful melodies and samples of bird songs to lead your children away on a breezy headphone trip, far away from their duties and responsibilities. I’d like to see you get your children to make their beds to this music, let alone pull a shift at Mickey D’s! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s perfected the aural aura Cornelius has taunted us with for years. Whatever you do, don’t listen to this! And be sure to keep your iPod and prescriptions locked up tight.